11 Things I Learned In My 11 Years Of Marriage: Kamiya Jani

Kamiya Jani Marriage
by Kamiya Jani

If I sit down to make a list of the places I have travelled to, it could be a long one. But 11 years back, I had started the journey of a lifetime. I had met Samar during my first job, when I was a finance writer at CNBC. We started dating after 6 months of knowing each other. After dating for another six months, we had even broken up for a year. But when there is love, it definitely finds its way of uniting hearts together. I was diagnosed with swine flu after returning from a Thailand trip. And that’s where our story took a U-turn. My sickness shook up Samar, made him anxious and soon after we patched up, and this time, with a promise of forever. He proposed to me for marriage and I said ‘yes’. There began the longest, the most adventurous and the most beautiful journey of my life. So, here are 11 things I have learned from the 11 years of my marriage:

1. Silent Treatment- Does It Work?

The answer is ‘no’. I tried it and after a week, he actually thought we are getting along pretty well.

2. Being Independent While Being Together

Doing your own thing actually works better than doing things together all the time. We both find joy in different things and after years of forcing each other and doing things reluctantly, we have now come to terms of letting each other be. He travels with me when he feels like (which he never did, but now enjoys). I watch sci-fi films with him, when I feel like (which honestly, I never do).


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3. Marriage Life Is Way Different From Dating Life

Don’t compare your married life to your dating life, even if it has been with the same person. Both have their own share of fun but I can assure you its never the same. Things change. Learn to accept it gracefully.

4. Respecting Opinions

Respect each other’s opinion, no matter how different is it from yours. Everyone has had different experiences and perspectives towards life. How you think about life is not always the BEST or the RIGHT way.

5. Travel Together-Just Two Of You

Travel, no matter how many kids or responsibilities you have. Take some help & support from family but go travelling at least once a year. Just the two of you.


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Also Read: Women Follow Me Because I Travel Despite Marriage & Child But Here’s What They Don’t Know

6. Laughing At The Same Jokes Together

Laugh. There is no other moment as satisfying as laughing together on the same jokes. Heart feels light and full at the same time and partner looks cuter!

7. Getting Used To Both Good And Bad Habits

Habits never change. You will still get annoyed about the same things which you did 10 years ago. But what changes is that you get better at arguing or ignoring.

8. Splurging V/S Saving

Finances is one of the biggest reasons why most couples fight. I am not sure about this one but Sam & I are very different when it comes to our outlook towards money. He is a risk taker, I am a safe player. He loves to splurge, I love to save. He has a Mustang. I recently got an electric bicycle after months of contemplating. It’s for him that I enjoy the luxurious life and it’s for me that he has some savings in his bank.


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9. Appreciate Each Other

Be each other’s cheerleader. We are both blessed to be in leadership roles in our respective companies but it can get lonely, especially when people are waiting to pull you down. Don’t shy away from praising, appreciating and encouraging your partner. He/she needs it.

10. Taking Big Decisions

Consult each other before taking any big decisions. Dismissing the other can leave a scar forever.

11. Thank And Apologise

Friendship mein ‘no sorry, no thank you’ but there is no such rule in marriage ok! Start your day by saying ‘Thank You’ for any sweet gesture by your spouse and end your day by saying sorry even if you didn’t do anything wrong.

Also Read: Kamiya Jani Shares Her Top 10 Favourite International Destinations

Do you have any more tips in mind? If yes, share them with us in the comments section below.